


The Cruelty Of Fate

by Dikhotomia



Series: Whumptober 2k19: FE3H Edition [20]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Day 20 Trembling, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 15:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21139103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dikhotomia/pseuds/Dikhotomia
Summary: "Now she sat here among a sea of people she knew and didn't all grieving over a man she both loved and didn't fully understand. She had known him, but not about him. Missing so many of his exploits from stories he never told her, stories she heard about from other people that knew him too.That knew him better, as she had been informed at least once."ORByleth grieves





	The Cruelty Of Fate

The gathering at the cathedral is vast, students and knights and civilians alike. Byleth doesn't recognize half of them, doesn't pay attention either. She sits out of the way, hands clutched in her lap and eyes burning from exhaustion and the seemingly endless flood of tears. She's never cried this much in her life, can't even remember crying at all before. Because she hadn't, she thinks bitterly, wringing her fingers until they hurt. The words in her father's journal are burned into her mind, the strangeness of her existence something she'll never forget. He wanted to tell her himself, but instead she found herself holding one of the last things she'd have to remember him by.

A journal, a ring, and memories.

Rhea had tried to tell her something too, the words getting caught up in her throat and her eyes unable to focus on anything but the wringing of her own hands. Like it was a struggle, like it was a truth too heavy to be spoken after such a hard loss for them all. 

_Your mother was...my..._

But Seteth pulled her attention away, leaving her with a quiet promise that they would talk later. That she would tell her everything she needed to know, that she would want to know.

Now she sat here among a sea of people she knew and didn't all grieving over a man she both loved and didn't fully understand. She had known him, but not about him. Missing so many of his exploits from stories he never told her, stories she heard about from other people that knew him too.

That knew him better, as she had been informed at least once.

(She pointedly doesn't look in Leonie's direction, even if she can feel the other's eyes on her. She can't handle it right now.)

Rhea's voice carries through the cathedral, raising to the vaulted ceiling as she speaks. Words of praise and remembrance Byleth hardly hears. She twists her hands more, letting her fingers ache and pinprick to near numbness before she buries her face against her palms, trembling with a fresh wave of grief. She finds these new found emotions a blessing and a curse, having enjoyed the tenderness and the happiness. Not this gutted out hollow feeling.

But that's how it is with emotions, there was no experiencing just what you wanted.

Tears burn and she let's them come, drawing a hiccuping breath, curling in on herself more to become as small as possible in such an open space. She cries quiet and shaking, Sothis' presence a silent pillar in the back of her mind. The Goddess had hardly spoke, but was always there. Helping her through her loss in her own way.

A warm hand rests heavy and comforting on the back of her head, fingers slipping through the strands of her hair to curl against her neck. The body that settles beside her is familiar, small but powerful and she knows immediately who it is without looking. Edelgard doesn't speak either, her thumb rubbing gentle across her skin. She knows it's not for lack of words, because Edelgard always had them on hand, blunt and cutting but truthful and inspiring all at once. She knows it's due to the situation, or to something else she has no energy to try and figure out.

Instead she turns slow until she catches a flash of crimson and black and gold, trembling more until Edelgard gathers her in her arms and pulls her closer. Let's her cling to her shoulders and her cape, pressing her face against her chest. She stays there while Rhea continues on, voice melodic in it's cadence. She stays there while one of Edelgard's hands run up and down her back, the other remaining tangled easy and tender in her hair. Shielding her while she breaks apart again and tries to rebuild herself from the foundation she's crumbled to.

She stays there while time drips away through her clenched fingers, until the tribute has ended and she's not asked to offer any of her own words, wondering if the vibration she felt was Edelgard speaking to someone and she hadn't heard. Hadn't cared. She stays there and Edelgard stays too, never trying to pull back or push her away. Stays steady and breathing, the beat of her heart alive and present against her ear. 

When she opens her eyes finally it's dark, candles lit and flickering in the cool breeze filtering in from the still open doors. A few bishops and students remain, tending to the last chores of the day, quietly working around them. She sits back slow, not quite willing to leave the warmth of Edelgard's embrace. But she knows she has to, she's the Professor, the adult. She has to be strong for the students she teaches.

"Edelgard," she says, voice rasping and jagged at the edges. "I..." She doesn't know what to say, trailing off as she meets the violet of the other eyes. Calm and patient, waiting for her to gather thoughts she can't. "Thank you," she whispers finally, taking hold of one of the other's hands to run her fingers over the surface of her gloves.

"You don't need to thank me," Edelgard says, like it's somehow her fault and Byleth can see a pain in her eyes she'd noticed only twice so far. Only ever a flicker, brief and all consuming. "Come," she adds after a moment, standing slow and stiff, likely sore from the amount of time they stayed sitting. "You should eat something."

Byleth goes without protest, still too numb to try.


End file.
